My Mission Statement

It's one am. I'm at home at New Year's Eve. This is my my thoughts on the last year and hopes for the coming one.

In the last year, I have lost my grandmother, some friends and my virginity. I loved and lost my first boyfriend. I've learned a lot about life and growing up. I've experienced more than my fair share of life and I miss it. Lately, I've felt like when I turned 20, I really turned 35. In the last year, I lost all hope and faith in everything. Myself mostly. I keep wondering what happened to make me lose that eternal optimism. How did I get to this place in my life?

I'm still having trouble moving on after Patrick. I think I am getting over him but I miss what we had. Whatver that was. When I wake up in the morning, I roll over and see no one there and feel so dissappointed. Dissappointed that the love of my life is not by my side. That's just a bad way to start the day. Not saying that Patrick was. But who ever he is isn't in my life.

I want to move out so bad. It's really hard moving back in with the 'rents. But I can't help but wonder that if I feel this lonely with people around me, how lonely am I going to feel with no one there but me?

All I know is "I'm tired of drinking whiskey by myself."

2005:
I hope this year is filled with life liberty and the pursuit of happiness. I hope for my urban family. I wish to find friends that I did not go to high school with. While I have fun hanging out with them, I just feel like I'm not moving on. I need to have some area in my life where I'm moving on.

I might be getting my hope back already. I mean, surely this coming year can't be as bad as the last one. There's gotta be something better in store for me.

With my parting thought, I want to wish everyone else good luck and happy new year. I hope that your year will be better than my last.

Good night!