The reality of things

Ok first let me get you up to speed...
I have been working on a video application for a job I'm kinda interested in. I did a lot of major filming and everything turned out to be crap. All the shots were crooked I sounded measured and fake. Parts were missing. The light wasn't cooperating and for some reason word got out that some one was filming downtown so everyone decided to drag main. It was the busiest I've seen main street ever.
On this video I had to say who I am and answer why would I be excellent for this job. I honestly could not think of one reason why I would be good. What would make me stand out? Yeah sure I can use all the adjectives anyone and everyone uses. Smart, ambitious, enthusiastic, blah blah blah. Sure I have that in me. But so does everyone else. What is it that makes me me? I'm just an average 20 year old girl. I have the whole world waiting for me and no idea what I want to do with the world. I'm a common mind with dimples and a big ass, made even more apparent by the camera. I set myself up for dissappointment. I don't know why I do these things. I get some crazy notion that can do something, I go I try to do it, and can't. Why did I even think that I could? They wouldn't have picked me anyway.
The biggest set back was not being able to say why I'd be excellent at this job.

So I give up. I take a step back to reevaluate what makes me happy and try to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.

Goodnite