A Day in the Life of.......Me: July 2005

Thank You

Hello to everyone who reads this.
I want to say thank you to everyone I've met in Poland for welcoming me with open arms. Veronika has some great friends. Some of whom I will always remember with the fondest of memories. Thank you for everything. I wish you all nothing but the best in life. There have been some I've met this summer that I don't like too much, but I don't think those people have this site. It wasn't nessecarily their fault or mine, we're just different people, from different schools of thought.
This was an amazing summer thanks to all of you. If you've read any of this site at all you know there have been ups and downs. But I wouldn't trade it for anything. The experience I've gained here is irreplacable. This was a once in a lifetime trip that I will cherish and take with me everywhere I go from now on.
This journey is just one part of the big picture, but it helped put the big picture into focus a little bit. The world is a beautiful place. I love home and appreciate it so much more having traveled other parts of the world, and would never live any where else then the good ol' US of A. But I wouldn't be so grateful and appreciative had I not left.
Again, thank you all for everything you've done and given me this summer. Muah!!!!

I am Unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you

Open up the dirty window

Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance

So close you can almost taste it

Release your innovations

Feel the rain on your skin

No one else can feel it for you

Only you can let it in

No one else, no one else

Can speak the words on your lips

Drench yourself in words unspoken

Live your life with arms wide open

Today is where your book begins

The rest is still unwritten

This is almost my new mantra. This was/is my freeing summer. Like I said in a previous post about my new found confidence, I am still the same me but renewed. Next time it rains, go dance. Spin like a kid until you fall down from dizziness. It's better than alcohol. What? Blasphemer!! No really. It is.

Amusement comes in all forms. But if you let the little things amuse you, find a ladybug, dance in the rain, a big bear hug, life is much more tasteful. Love life and everything it offers. There are those relationships that open you up to something new and exotic.. Those that are old, and familar.. Those that bring up lots of questions.. Those that bring you somewhere unexpected... Those that bring you far away.. And those that bring you back ... But the most exciting significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself.. And if you find someone to love the you, that you love... Well... That's just Fabulous.

I'm happy.

Doing Nothing

I'm going to preface this by saying that this is one of my last posts. I feel that in the next few days I will write one or two more and that will be it. So I hope everyone has enjoyed it.

I'm bored. The last week has been nothing but sleeping and alcohol. Every night we've had some form of alcoholic beverage. Bacardi Breezers, champagne, vodka and some kind of juice, among te plethera of bottles in the refridgerator. It actually wasn't too bad. It provided some rather humorous moments really. It has to be the best week wile I've been here. But I think that we've been sleeping in hopes that Thursday will hurry up and get here. I'm so super psyched about going to Norway. And time really flies when you take 2 naps a day. We've been sleeping a lot. I have truely become a bum. I do nothing all day. Wake up whenever I feel like getting up which is somewhere after noon. Then lie around the apartment until o 7 o'clock and then get in the bath. Then go to the restaurant 'til midnight. I don't normally go to sleep til 2 or so and then sleep for 10 hours and more naps during the day. That's a lot of sleep. But I've come to some conclusions about my life when I get back that have me excited. Details of those are forthcoming. So for now I need to say goodbye. We have guests and not paying attention to a language I don't understand is rude. Buhbye.

One Week

I have only one week left in Poland. I know!!! It went by so fast! Next Thursday Vern and I are leaving for a cruise to Norway. We're going to spend a few days in Poland on the Baltic Sea and then go to Oslo and tour fjords and much more. I can't wait. I know I wrote that in the last 2 posts but too bad. You have to read it again. Cause I'm excited. So there. Anyway, not even 24 hours after we get back from Norway do I get on a plane headed for home. I am excited. I'm gonna miss my sister of course but I'm ready to see my brother. So................ I think that's all for now. I might write again later.

Life or Something Like It

It's raining. Again! But today there is a poetry to the drops. I wanna go dance in the rain.

But first I'm going to go through an update.

First, I made a life altering decision Sunday. I truely and almost officially changed my major. I no longer will repeat the standard answer I've been using for that pesky question "What are you studying? What's your major? What do you want to be when you growup?" The standard answer was I want Linda Cohen or Stacy Dales job. Yes these jobs would be frickin awesome, but I don't see it bringing me true happiness. So what am I going to study? What's my new major? What do I want to be when I grow up? I want to be a teacher. More specifically a middle school history teacher. But aren't history teachers also coaches? Yeah in smaller schools where teachers and coaches have to do double duty. But in middle school a coach, or assistant, doesn't nessecarily have to be accredited. Yes it's nice, but remember those who can't do, teach/coach. But it's not about can or can't. If you read the previous post you know that I know I can do anything I want to. It's about stacking the odds in my favor for that thing called happiness. Thus, I have been ecstatic for the last two days. I am actually excited about starting classes mostly because switching my schedule and changing majors and all, has my new schedule jam packed with nothing but history classes. Well the 2 basic courses I lacked and history. I'm taking a Modern Europe class. How ironic huh? Seeing how I've been "studying" modern europe all summer.
Well since I made this decision I've been in a muh better mood. Vern and I have had a couple really great nights. Ray, Cole, I have pictures that will make you fall out of your seat in disbelief. It has been all laughs and story telling and That 70's Show. And some drinks. But of course.
Yesterday we went and saw her parents for a bit. We talked about my flight and upcoming trips, and the like. We were disappointed. On our upcoming trip to the Baltic Sea and Norway the dates changed. Previously we were pushing it coming back from Norway less than 24 hours from the time my flight leaves. Well the dates were pushed back one day. Meaning if we were to go then we would get back to Katowice one hour before my flight leaves from Warsaw which is 3 hours away. So the trip to Norway is off. Or so we thought. We woke up this morning and found out that the flyer that said the dates changed was typoed(sp) and that we're going to Norway again. So we leave in 9 days.
I've had to buy another suitcase just for the souvineers(sp) I'm bringing home. It's a lot of presents.

My count down is now only 9 days. I don't want to count down while I'm touring fjords in Norway besides as soon as we get back we're turning around for Warsaw to catch the plane.

Muah

I'm in love!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yep you read right. I'm in love. I began this grand romance a while ago and am now completely and overwhelmingly in love. Who? Who? Tell me. Tell me.

I'm in love with me. And tomatos. But that story later. I'm not becoming conceited or anything. I am growing to love me. Flaws and all. Cellulite, zits, Oprah flags, large pores, split ends, brittle nails, flab hanging over the jeans, dry, scabbed skin, and all. I haven't really been feeling healthy while over here, and what are considered my attributes at home are considered a defect here. Because of this I have been forced to remind myself that this is a good thing. That is one thing about me that I love. And then because the advertising is in a different language(as is the subliminal messages) I've not succumbed to media images. That and ads are not as bombarding as at home. I still have problems with my hair but I think that will be an ongoing battle. It's the same school of thought that if you force a smile on your face, in a few moments your mood will lighten up. I was forced to remember what I loved about myself and ended up with a love of much more.

Another factor adding to my love affair has nothing to do with my physical features. Since I have been over here "living" and taking little side trips my confidence in myself has also grown. I know those that know me are thinking she doesn't need a confidence boost. But I should say that being on my own has let me trust on everyting I've ever been taught and remember that I am a smart, independant, reliable, self starting woman. I know now that I can do anything and everything I ever want to do in life. I'm also figueing out what I want to do in life. Or rather what I don't want to do. But that's a step closer.

Now with tomatos. They eat fresh tomatos with everything. If it's not fresh tomatos, it's ketchup. I am really loving the tomato. It is a new comfort food.

I'm also more and more appeciative that I am an American. I am thankful for the freedoms I have and being treated as an equal. Yes in politics and such there is "equality" here, however there are a lot more old school thinkers than there are at home.

So my love affair continues and hopefully will not wane too much when I arrive home.
Muah

I have not been hungry all week.

Sunday: This is the table of appetizers at Dorota's 18th Birthday party. That's just appetizers. There was not an empty space on the table. This was just party number one. I met all kinds of family and saw some that I knew already. Monday: Dorota's party with friends. We went bowling then to Aloha for more food. It was about the same amount of food as the night before. O yeah. They do cake first. Cake and coffee, then the appetizers, then the dinner. Then dessert. Yep. Tuesday: Dorota's actual birthday(and Gpa's and MJ's) Vern and I went to Tychy. We spent the day with family and Gramma's. Everywhere we went had food and coffee and tea. Hot tea. They don't do iced tea. Did I mention we had food? We ended up bringing food home because there was so much and it's rude not to eat. But we were full. So tonight we had a grandma's cooking. It was good. I'm full. But I feel like ice cream.

While at one of Dorota's parties I was talking with Justyna and I was telling her about my health woes and such. Just my reasons why I thought I was feeling bad and all. So last night I went to this health spa thing with her. I went to an aerobics class. I'm not an aerobics kind of person. I'm not coordinated nor do I have any type of grace. I was laughing. It was damn funny. Not only could I not understand what the hell she was saying, but that made me like 2 whole beats behind everyone else. Luckily tonight it's something different. We'll see how I do.

I think that's all for now. 2 weeks from today we leave for the Baltic Sea and Norway. 4 till I come home. I'll write more later. Maybe.

no title

I was told I needed to blog more by my daddy. So I'm blogging something. It's Saturday evening. I'm here alone. Vern has gone to the restaurant to work til midnight. Ewa and I will probably be going sometime to bug Verno. That and I'm going to eat.

Things have taken a bit of a turn recently. I'm not as melancholy as I was a couple days ago. I am still really bored and don't feel like partying much, but I feel better. Things haven't really changed, but maybe I'm just getting used to them. I'm becoming more comfortable with life here. I would not pick here to live for the rest of my life. But for now things are ok. I think partially because I've written, physically hand-written, some things and that helps with venting, and Vern and I have talked. I don't know if I really got through to her but I feel better now.

I also think that my better mood has something to do with the comedic greenhorn that is my brother. He's always been a funny fellow. Always made me laugh, but he has recently been able to put these witty conceptions in writing well. Check it out at his site. Thank you Cole. I needed that.

Well, I better finish. I don't know when I'll be going to the restaurant. Clocks just don't exist around here. Love to all. Muah

Greece After Thoughts

Preface: I took a lot of notes and such about things I wanted to remember from Greece, and they are written much in the same manner as Berlin. However, there are way too many for me to write them verbatim. So what you will read will be mostly summaries and some excerpts.

"This particular trip already has an air of sadness for me, because I will not be in the Good Ol' US of A on Independance Day. So on the note I'm going to make a couple of lists. Things I miss: 1. my family, 2. my car and driving it, 3. my cell phone, 4. BEEF 5. real showers, 6. dryers with lint traps, 7. my peeps at work, 8. mexican food, 9. ice, 10. free refills, 11. (sad to say) Walmart Things I'm looking forward to: 1. Seafood in Greece, 2. Greece period, 3. Amsterdam, 4. Being back in the homeland."
The 4th of July was spent on a bus. The seafood was extremely dissappointing. 13 euros for 6 shrimp sitting on the beach. I could see the dadgum fishing boats daily and that's the price of fresh seafood. And Greece.......

"Vern and I have just spent the day on the beach. We woke up aroung 7:30 am for breakfast, went back to sleep til about 11am then went to the beach. The day was absolutely beautiful. Hot but very breezy. The sea was freezing but clear. Because it's rocks and not sand on the beach or in the sea there is noe seaweed. Around 1:30pm Vern got a text from her friend Nikolas. She's known him about as long as she's known me give or take a summer. He said he was bored at the restaurant and asked if we wanted a coffee. So we went to his restaurant, got a free frappe and sat aroung on the beach under straw umbrellas watching him and Dimitris play backgammon. It was quite a lovely afternoon. After chillaxin with them we went back to lay down on the beach. I'm not one for just laying and tanning. I always gotta do something. But today was different. It was nice."

Greece was beautiful. But I spent more time on a bus than I did on the beach. I was told I was going to all these little places because "You'll love it." And I did like some of it. But I've been waiting for 3 years to be in Greece with Vern. It was more like just me in Greece and not on my own terms. I went to a Greek Night. I was entertained by traditional dances, food, and wine. All were good. The wine was the best. I learned a few dances and am probably married to one of the dancers after one of them. I saw a Greek Orthodox monastary that provided a pilgramige of sorts for me. That was cool. But it took a day away from the beach. I hiked Mt. Olympus. The hike was cool. The little other stops we kept making were not. I didn't understand the importance of any of them seeing as how the tour was in Polish. We went to Athens. Again the tour was in Polish so I didn't understand. Veronika didn't want to translate everything for me. She only translated what she thought was interesting, which kinda perturbed me. I like history and such. I wanna know the stories of the places we're stopping at in Athens. Turns out the tour guide just wasn't a good story teller. So I had a bad source and a screen. We spent a grand total of 6 hours in Athens because "there's not much to see in Athens." Yep you read right. There's so much to see in Athens, so much history, so many stories. But didn't get to see or hear them. We stopped in Thessalonia on the way back to Poland. Same thing happened there. We only stayed for 2 hours "because there's really nothing to see." I know!!!

I have seen so many places on the drive to Greece. We went through Slavakia, Hungary(Budapest), Serbia, New Yugslavia, and Bulgaria. I must say these are absolutely beautiful countries. Bulgaria reminded me of home. Flat and full of corn fields, but green. Everything is so green. The rest stops left a lot to be desired. Like toilets. Some places were just holes in the ground with a string hanging from the ceiling. Ladies this was difficult. Squatting over this whole trying to to get your pants wet with urine or whatever else was the liquid on the floor. and then you have to open the door and get ready to run out before you can flush, because all that hard work will mean nothing if ya don't. And you had to pay ,50 euro to use this hole. Yeah. I am no longer afraid of whatever diseases are in Walmart's bathroom after this trip. Whatever they are are minor to whatever can be contracted in these toilets.

"I've come to realize that I'm feeling the exact same way I did this time last year. I was looking back at my reactions and feelings of the last month or so and it is the exact same mood/aura/melancholiness as last year. I feel like I need to cry. Last year though, my panic/anxiety attacks were like 2 or 3 every other day. Now I've only had 2 or 3 total."
I did cry. On the streets of Athens. I was feeling so completely left out and uninformed. It felt like a waste of a day. When you're in a place like that, nothing should feel wasted.

I spent a total of 5 days in Greece. 3 trips I was sort of pushed into. 2 languages I didn't understand. And a grand total of 90 hours on a bus. It's a good thing Greece was so completely and utterly beautiful. I don't know if I could count it as a good trip otherwise. It is definately a must see for everyone.